Labor Day Weekend: Days 2 & 3

Notes:

The last two days of the long weekend were very full and productive. Sunday was the most quiet day– no long walks, runs, or big projects. Daniel finally hung a large, metal barn star on the front of our house. We shopped for solid pine doors to replace a plain, hollow closet door, and possibly replace the older (1918) doors to our bedrooms and bathroom. We’re either having those three doors replaced, or paying someone to remove/strip the old paint on both sides. It all depends on pricing. We’d like rustic, lightly stained wood doors to match the trim… right now they’re all painted gray and turquoise (gag!). While at the hardware store, we ended up in the lawn & garden section, as always, and brought home a few mini Boxwoods.

Monday was a landscaping day in the front yard. I planted the Boxwoods in front of the front porch… this house has ZERO landscaping done around it. Then I kept going with the area, turning it into a larger flower bed. I just plan as I go, letting it evolve on its own. The dirt here is incredibly soft, so gardening feels practically effortless. We went back to the store and purchased some white, perennial Daisies, a really fragrant Yew (a tall, evergreen bush that smells like Pine), and Daniel picked out a baby Colorado Blue Spruce for the back yard. We got all the planting done, except for Daniel’s baby tree. Daniel finally put together our second Adirondack chair, so the front is slowly coming together. I thought I’d get out to the backyard this evening to cut out the overgrown pumpkin vine that our dog keeps chewing apart (I loved it, but I really thought it was looking sickly). Well, Prasad found some large squash growing on it! They look like Yellow Squash, but are much larger. Not sure what to make of them, but we’re leaving the vine until we can pick them. So much for pumpkins! God knows how much I love squash… and these are whoppers!

While planting in the front, Prasad had his little friend, Samrat, over for a play date. I kept going inside and checking on them, and occasionally wished I hadn’t. At one point, Sky, Samrat, and Prasad were in the upstairs bedroom eating crushed Soy Crisps off a Curious George tin pan. This wouldn’t be so strange if they weren’t eating them doggy style, faces in the platter, licking away! I know boys can be a bit crude, but I haven’t been that grossed out in a while. All that saliva in one place… ugh. Of course, the carpet was covered in food and it’s the last time I’m allowing food in the bedroom, at least for a while, especially with friends! The whole scene won’t leave my head, and it’s finally making me laugh.

Not much more to report, except that I will say we’re re-thinking allowance, which has been $2.50/week for Sky and Prasad. Sky is extremely bossy about receiving it every week, and always hounds us from Friday until Sunday. Sometimes we don’t pay him right away because we don’t have smaller bills or change. He’s been acting entitled. We started thinking to ourselves that allowance is not about being entitled to a certain amount weekly, but earning it. We started out with that mindset, and I’m not sure what happened. Sky can get SO BOSSY and demanding that we forget out of a sense of ‘dropping the ball’. You know, the thought that we should have been consistent and given him the allowance every Friday, as planned? We felt like flakes. Anyway, we have caught on, and told Sky we’re rethinking things because, if anything, he hasn’t earned much lately. Unlike Prasad, he’s extremely resistant to helping out around the house, and complains about doing his regular chores (which he isn’t paid for). When we mentioned this, he said “Well, what about the night Prasad and I decided to clean the whole sunroom out of loving kindness for you, Mom?!” I replied, “Uuuuh, Sky. Isn’t the whole point of loving kindness just doing things without requiring anything in return?” It’s a slippery slope, allowance. I want Sky to learn the value of hard work, money, etc., but at the same time not have him become greedy and entitlement oriented in the process. I’m thinking he needs a chart where he begins each week with $2.50 owed to him on Friday, but with each complaint or resistance to being helpful, he is charged .25 cents. Not too sure if that will work, but he’s got to start making the connection between allowance and helpfulness & hard work. I’m very open to suggestions here! If he doesn’t get it, maybe he’s too young for any of it.

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This entry was posted in Andrew Prasad, Gardening, Parenting, Sky Bear. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Labor Day Weekend: Days 2 & 3

  1. Michelle says:

    We had to discontinue allowance for similar reasons. It had become an entitlement issue and bargaining tool (by our son in particular) and we didn’t like how we were losing the concept of helping the family and inadvertently encouraging an environment of “well, if I do this – how much will you pay me?” or, even worse, “so I won’t take out the trash and then you won’t pay me – big deal!” There was also the problem that even with an allowance they didn’t seem to grasp value at all, so they would waste their money on things that they broke, etc., which also drove us insane. So we don’t give any allowance any more, though we occaisonally have situations where they are allowed to negotiate payment with us for specific jobs, like raking leaves or washing cars. The kids do get money from grandparents on their birthday and we also pay bonuses for good grades (I know this is a very controversial idea, but school is their job and if they perform well, we believe in monetarily rewarding that).

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