“The Days of Our Lives”

After seventeen days of break, Sky and Prasad are both back to school today. Last night they were both so excited about school starting up again. Prasad’s giddiness made it difficult to fall asleep, and Sky laid out his clothes- a new shirt and shoes he got for Christmas, along with his new digital sports watch. Daniel left for work before we got up this morning because he had an early trial, so I got the kids ready by myself. It went reasonably well, and I didn’t feel too terrible being up so early. After all, we had almost seventeen days of sleeping in until 8:30am. Thanks to all three boys and their morning sleep habits over break, I’m feeling a surplus of energy these days. Good thing, considering the silly episode that took place this morning. We always seem to start out with kooky soap opera-like dramas in this family, and it helps to have entertaining personalities around.

Back To School:

I woke up Sky and Prasad, and left Liam in the room to sleep in. Liam did not have school today. Sky had all his clothes together, and brought down his backpack. After Prasad was done showering, Sky went into the bathroom to get dressed. When he came out, he was holding Prasad’s watch.

Sky: “Here, Prasad. You left your watch in the bathroom.”

They both received new sports watches for Christmas, and I swear they have been one of the most prized gifts this year. Prasad was very grateful and thanking Sky for finding it because he’d been very excited to show it off in class. They were about to sit down and eat breakfast, when Sky noticed his watch was missing.

Sky: “Hey, where’s my watch? I know I had it. I brought it down this morning. It must be in the bathroom.”

Me: “Go look for it, and then come back to eat.”

(a minute or two later) Me: “Sky, come eat breakfast.” long pause. “Sky, it’s time to eat, you can look after you eat.” long pause… no Sky. I walked closer to the bathroom, “Sky, you have to eat now because we’re leaving in fifteen minutes.” Silence from Sky, but a loud banging sound in the bathroom. “What is that noise, Sky? You’re going to wake up your sister.”

Sky: “I KNOW MY WATCH IS IN HERE!!!”

Me: “Shhhhhh! I just told you you’ll wake your sister. Now go eat breakfast.” He had been rummaging through the bathroom trash can, as if someone had thrown the watch away.

Sky: “But I NEED to find my watch, Mom, and I KNOW I left it in the bathroom.”

Our bathroom is super tiny, and there was clearly no watch there.

Me: “Sky, you’d better go eat. Your watch is NOT in here, or we would see it. If you don’t find it, you can show it off tomorrow.”

Sky: (in a very angry tone) “Geez, I don’t want to show it off!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!!!! I NEEEEEED TO KNOW!!!!!” Now, I believe that. Since getting the watch, Sky has been obsessed with what time it is, and has been telling everyone when to do things based upon his advantage of wearing a watch. I never wear one. It gives him a sense of control, and he loves it. I believe he is hooked on watches for life now.

Me: “Sky, calm down and go eat your breakfast.”

Sky: “OH! This day is not going at all the way I’d hoped. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is working out.”

He sat down with Prasad to eat breakfast.

Prasad: “Sky, are you about to cry? Are you sad about your watch?”

Sky: (silence)

Prasad: “Oh, Sky. I’m sorry. Would you like to wear my watch to school today? You can wear it if you want to.” I was stunned at his generosity, considering Prasad coveted his new watch, and was so excited to show it to his peers.

Sky: (VERY angry, lip curled) “NO PRASAD. I don’t want to wear that watch. I want mine!!!”

Prasad: “Okay Sky. I was just offering.”

Me: “That was very kind of you to offer your watch to Sky, Prasad.”

Sky: (grumbling noises)

Me: “Wasn’t that a thoughtful offer, Sky?”

Sky: (yelling) “I don’t care about Prasad’s watch, Mom!!! That’s stupid when I want my own watch!”

Me: “I was just trying to point out that it was a nice gesture so you can thank him.”

Sky: “I DO NOT NEED YOU TO POUND IT INTO ME THAT HE WAS BEING NICE!!!!! I NEED MY WATCH!!!!!” Pound it in? His anger was intense, and his lack of gratitude really threw me. I know he was frustrated, but the level of anger when when such kindness took place created a sort of diametrically opposed black hole of sorts. My chin was probably hanging to the floor. I firmly told Sky to lower his voice, and I said that due to the tone he was taking he needed to be completely silent for ten minutes. When he was done eating, I told him I did not appreciate being talked to like that, and that I was only trying to prompt him to thank Prasad for his generosity. His anger was uncalled for.

Sky: (ignored me) “Where are my glasses?” I told him that I don’t keep track of them. He checked his backpack for them. “Oh, here are my glasses, and my watch is in here with them! Cool.” Oy, life!!! No apologies or words of regret, and we had no time to talk.

This is the type of incident that used to really rile me up. Seeing the complete disregard for Prasad’s kindness (actually he seemed contemptuous and disgusted about it), and then his very disrespectful tone with me used to get me very upset. Two weeks ago I wrote one of the monks at Self-Realization Fellowship about this type of issue with Sky, and I received some spiritual guidance that somehow shifted my whole response. It’s an internal shift of some kind (the type that really works). Instead of being completely disgusted afterward, I was laughing inside. I also feel sorry for Sky that he can’t accept kindness like Prasad’s most of the time, and that he has to get so angry about little things that he can’t even function well enough to see the silliness and how it affects everyone else. I actually felt compassion for him today, and that’s progress for me. I am slowly growing accustomed to a personality type that is completely new to me in my 43 years of relationships with all kinds of people. We had to rush out the door for school, but I’m going to have a little talk with him later today, and ask him how he could have reacted differently to both Prasad and I. That’s all I can do as a mother, then I just let go until the next whirlwind episode!

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This entry was posted in Parenting, Personal Growth, Realizations, Relationships, Sky Bear, Spiritual. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “The Days of Our Lives”

  1. Oh that is EXACTLY the sort of thought process and internal reorganization that I need to have within myself!!! I face the same sort of things with my kids and usually end up disgusted and upset and it ruins everything for me (and those around me) for hours afterward. I would love to know more of what the spiritual guidance was that led you to this change in response. Great job!

    • jillpeebles says:

      I may try to elaborate on that in another post. It’s difficult to convey experiences and perceptual changes like that.
      So glad to hear I’m not the only one wrestling with this issue! The disgust I used to feel caused me so much guilt, which caused me a lot of discomfort in my own skin. We all need to know these are normal and ‘okay’ feelings, and I’ve no doubt I’ll experience it again.

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